Dear Wife/ Sweetheart/Girl Friend/ Partner/whomever it may concern,

  1. Between 11 June and 11 July 2010, you should read the sports section of the newspaper so that you are aware of what is going on regarding the World of Soccer, and that way you will be able to join in the conversations. If you fail to do this, then you will be looked at in a bad way, or you will be totally ignored. DO NOT complain about not receiving any attention.
  2. During the World Cup, the television is mine, at all times, without any exceptions. If you even take a glimpse of the remote control, you will lose it (your eye).
  3. If you have to pass by in front of the TV during a game, I don’t mind, as long as you do it crawling on the floor and without distracting me.
  4. World Cup LogoDuring the games I will be blind, deaf and mute, unless I require a refill of my drink or something to eat. You are out of your mind if you expect me to listen to you, open the door, answer the telephone, or pick up the baby that just fell on the floor….It won’t happen.
  5. It would be a good idea for you to keep at least 2 six packs in the fridge at all times, as well as plenty of things to nibble on (excluding your body parts), and please do not make any funny faces to my friends when they come over to watch the games. In return, you will be allowed to use the TV between 12am and 6am, unless they replay a good game that I missed during the day.
  6. Please, please, please!! If you see me upset because one of my teams is losing, DO NOT say “get over it, it’s only a game”, or “don’t worry, they’ll win next time”. If you say these things, you will only make me angrier and I will love you less. Remember, you will never ever know more about football than me and your so called “words of encouragement” will only lead to a break up or divorce.
  7. You are welcome to sit with me to watch one game and you can talk to me during halftime but only when the commercials are on, and only if the half time scores is pleasing me. In addition, please note I am saying “one” game; hence do not use the World Cup as a nice cheesy excuse to “spend time together”.
  8. The replays of the goals are very important. I don’t care if I have seen them or I haven’t seen them, I want to see them again, Many times.
  9. Tell your friends NOT to have any babies, or any other child related parties or gatherings that requires my attendance because:
    a) I will not go, b) I will not go, and c) I will not go.
  10. But, if a friend of mine invites us to his house on a Sunday to watch a game, we will be there in a flash.
  11. The daily World Cup highlights show on TV every night is just as important as the games themselves. Do not even think about saying “but you have already seen this…why don’t you change the channel to something we can all watch?” because, the reply will be, “Refer to Rule #2 of this list”.
  12. And finally, please save your expressions such as “Thank God the World Cup is only every 4 years”. I am immune to these words, because before and after this comes the Champions League, Premier League, Italian League, Spanish League, KPL, FA Cup, Euro Cup, etc.
  13. P/S By the way if you get stuck on the road call the Police or AA. Thank you for your cooperation.

6 comments on “Dear Wife/ Sweetheart/Girl Friend/ Partner/whomever it may concern,

  1. Jessik on said:

    I will try to memorized all these.. I also bought the Panini World cup album (here in Dallas Texas). Me and my girlfriends are having fun collecting the stickers… The album includes individual player images from all teams plus stickers of the team and some stadiums (hard to memorize) Well I think my husband will be happy!!! and I really recommend this sticker album to any football fans' wife.

  2. Beth on said:

    What store did you find the album at? I've been looking for my bf and I can't find anything that isn't online.

  3. Ed Molina on said:

    The World Cup Albun can be obtained at Paniniamerica.net
    You can get the albun and all stickers (stickers go for 20 cents each.) Great fun

  4. Clueless GF on said:

    WHATEVER!!!! HAHA

  5. George McOphe on said:

    Guess we're on the same page ma brother……Woza 2010 FIFA World Cup Msanzi!!!! Blow ur vuvuzelas amajents!

  6. Debarati on said:

    To all the men… and women… reading this and nodding their empty heads in vigorous agreement, here's something you could consider thinking about – Well, if you are really that passionate about the game, ( I will reserve my comments however passionately I may feel for abusing you over your clear disrespect for your partner over men who are kicking balls around for an extravagant sum and who couldnt care less if you dropped dead from excitement…literally dead), why dont you just get yourself a spare TV and spare your co-dwellers from all the horror!! Duh, cant you invest this teeny weeny lil bit for some game you simply HAVE to watch? And then even after the WC is over and done with, you can lock yourself up with your own personal TV watching the umpteen leagues that will follow later on. So what if your partner disowns you…you can always cuddle up to the warm TV screen, cant you?